Why Florida State Is Better Than Penn State

Explaining why Florida State is better than Penn State is one of the easiest assignments in the history of easy journalism assignments. It's like comparing the beach to an arctic outpost.

It wasn't easy, but I've narrowed my list to 10 reasons:

1. In Tallahassee, snowplows aren't required to get to class during the winter.

2. Penn State is mathematically challenged. It plays in a conference that has 11 teams but calls itself the Big Ten.

3. Florida State has Chief Osceola, Renegade and a flaming spear. Penn State has some guy in a furry lion suit.

4. Former FSU quarterback Brad Johnson won a Super Bowl with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Former Penn State quarterback Todd Blackledge attended a Super Bowl.

5. It's easy to travel to Tallahassee. To get to State College, you need a plane, two buses and a dog sled.

6. Seminole Indians are an American Indian people who moved into North Florida in the 18th century. A Nittany Lion is what, exactly?

7. Bobby Bowden and Joe Paterno have faced each other once, in the 1990 Blockbuster Bowl. Bowden won (24-17).

8. Florida State is home to the National High Magnetic Field Laboratory. Penn State is close to the magnetic North Pole.

9. With his aviator sunglasses and snappy straw hats, Bobby Bowden is quite the fashion plate on the sidelines. Joe Paterno's glasses went out of vogue with Buddy Holly.

10. People live in Pennsylvania because they have to. People live in Florida because they want to.

Jodie Wagner, a Neighborhood Post sportswriter, is a graduate of Florida State University. She and her two Seminoles-in-waiting practice their war chants at home.